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March 05, 2004
I Can Relate
Ian James for The Lantern; March 4, 2004:
"Fudge it: There's nothing left for us
Whether or out of age or position, the amount of things I've come to loathe multiply daily. The age of innocence has died. The age of hypocrisy, cynicsm and defeatism is here to stay.
I used to like things. I used to read Rolling Stone without an embedded scowl. I used to watch MTV. I had foundations, and I respected them. Sure, middle school ended and I 'grew' up, but there used to be a time when I cared more than not.
Now I can't even pick up a record from a contemporary band without some notion of guilty pleasure or inner argument over why I should hate it.
'Their first album was better.'
'They're on a major label, so I guess they sold out.'
'Dude, they changed their sound.'
'They're just another (fill in the blank) rip-off'
On and on.
I hate celebrities now. I hate Paris Hilton because she's famous for no reason. I hate Renee Zellweger and her stupid scrunched-up face. I hate Chloe Sevigny because she's all indie and crap. I hate foreign movies because I'm supposed to like them. I hate Hollywood movies because they're overdone and trite. I hate Nicolas Cage's face. Jerry Bruckheimer must die.
I can't read a newspaper without looking for a bias. I can't look at art without overanaylzing it. I can't read poetry without wondering what my motivations are for reading it. The critic has overtaken the audience folks, and it isn't pretty. If it's gonna be like this for life, then I'm ready for my lobotomy.
My quest for knowledge in this information age--the age of the talking head, the ruthless critic and the public relations agent--has turned my head upside down. Manipulated, contaminated, flogged, used up and put away wet, my mind is the farthest thing from the 'no-spin zone.'
...So fudge it. I'm going to start listening to top 40 radio, Casey Kasem--or is it Carson Daly now--and all that crap.
I'm gonna wear Abercrombie & Fitch and keep my hair short; get a Von Dutch trucker hat and listen to Jay-Z. Forget art. I'll change my major to business. I'll stop having an option.
I am no cooler than anyone else. I am like you as you are like me. Get me on some Zoloft, and I'll try and forget that there's a beer out there other than Natural Light.
Then we can all start being friends again."
Today's Soundtrack: "There's Always Someone Cooler Than You," Ben Folds
Best Part of the Day: It's 74 degrees outside! YEEAAHHH!
posted at 5:36 p.m.
