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March 18, 2004
The Boy with the Arab Strap
Thank you, Massachussetts. Thank you, California. Thank you, Oregon. Thank you one and all for unleashing the largest onslaught of gay rights activism this country has ever seen. Because of your actions, I now have the pleasure of seeing what seems like gaggles of gay and lesbian couples getting married on courtroom steps. I can hear about Rosie O'Donnell's latest marriage to Kelly What's-Her-Face while I'm eating scrambled eggs during a morning shoot of Regis and Kelly. I can have President Bush interrupt my late-morning doseage of The Price is Right in order to give a speech regarding his (lame) attempt to amend the Constitution for the protection of the sanctity of marriage. Instead of pondering over the cold-feet syndrome that plagued Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's on-again, off-again wedding, I can now twitter over the possible "Will he, or won't he?" marriage of Elton John displayed prominently on People magazine. In fact, I can now watch everything from Queer Eye and Ellen to The L Word and Playing it Straight, and simply collaspe from a total brain overload.
I have recently diagnosed myself with Gay (Attention) Deficit Disorder, or Gay DD for short. Compared with acid reflux disease and rheumatoid arthritis, Gay DD is hardly chronic or devestating; but it does create a severe mental overload on the brain. In the past two months, I have been forced to cognitively process hundreds of messages streaming from the media, ranging from the likes of Steven Cojocaro's style contributions on The Today Show to Melissa Etheridge's own Commitment Ceremony. I have had terms like "fag hag" and "metrosexual" thrown at me on a regular basis, but have hardly had any time to come to understand just what significance these words have in my own personal world. I can't ever seem to move or think fast enough. Just who is shaping my vocabulary nowadays? Who is shaping my opinions? What do these words and phrases me for me? My mind is blacking out here.
Times are changing, I know. We've come a long way from the days of Rock Hudson, and even more recently, Matthew Shepard, and it seems that "gayness" has been welcomed by the mainstream. Heck, I'd even trade a night on the town with almost any straight man in Hollywood for just five minutes with the with the Fab 5. I'm not one to withold the rights of others in this already lopsided version of America. There are many things I don't agree with, and even more things I can't come to understand. But couldn't someone prescribe something for the media headache I'm feeling right now? I'm feeling weak in the knees.
posted at 11:27 p.m.
