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July 16, 2003

Freaky Friday

Okay, so it isn't Friday anymore... But since so many people have been on this Friday Five kick, I decided I'd try it out. Besides, the questions were actually decent and they had something to do with me personally, so there really wasn't any harm in giving it a shot. So here it goes:

Do you remember your first best friend? Who was it?

I really don't remember who my very FIRST best friend was, just because I've always seemed to collect so many of them. If you're gonna be technical, I guess it's going to have to be Nicole from preschool. If it wasn't her, it was Becky from the other preschool. I can't remember who came first.

Are you still in touch with this person?

Nope, not at all. I haven't seen Nicole since the first grade, and Becky since I left that preschool class fifteen or sixteen years ago.

Do you have a current close friend?

As much as it hurts to say this, I'm going to say my closest friend right now is Alina. Noga and I just don't talk all that much anymore, and our conversations aren't great, either. When I do get the chance to say something to her, I almost always end up sitting back and listening to her long list of problems and complaints, or just playing back on her own moments of silence.

It's a sad state of things.

Even though Natasha and I live right behind each other, we never see each other enough to say anything worthwhile. Besides, she's kind of made me upset with the whole Eric thing... What's the point of having a boyfriend when you're not even going to tell your own friend about him? How is it that just about everyone else has the right to know about him, but not me? I just feel so out of the loop with things... All we ever seem to talk about is AMC, which isn't all that interesting anymore. And the fact that she might be lying/hiding something from me about Eric just irks me. I don't know what else to say about it.

On the flip side, I absolutely adore Alina. I got a call from her on Monday, as a matter of fact. She's just come back from a family vacation (Europe?), and she's on her way to Florida this week, but she's planning on visiting me next month. I know we spent nine months living together in the dorms, but I can't get enough of her. She's hilarious, and she almost always has an opinion about everything, which is good, since I'm one of those indecisive people who don't make good judgements about people's character.

How did you become friends with this person?

Ummm... We lived together. I thought I already answered that one.

Is there a friend from your past that you wish you were still in contact with? Why?

Boy, the list could just go on and on...

I guess first of all, I'd say Matt. Just because there are so many things that I never really got to say because I was too busy blowing up in his face, or defending my case to psychologists (more on that later). I was frustrated. I was pissed. It just wasn't the time for me to be with him. That whole year, I was upset because he just didn't want to do anything to make himself any better. I got tired of waiting for improvement... Tired of seeing failure after failure... Tired of being lied to.

So I left.

Given the option now, I still probably wouldn't be best friends with him anymore. There's just too much going on with him for me to deal with. But I could handle being casual friends... As long as I could find a way to speak my peace.

posted at 4:24 p.m.

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