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July 30, 2004

Kaleidoscope Whore

I found out last week why it is so ill-advised to bring a Shick razor anywhere near the "fertile crescent" zone of my bikini line. I thought at first I was only going to skim a little off the top; you know, get a little trim? But then thirty seconds later, I was slashing through through that pubic jungle like it was overgrown foilage in the Australian bush; and before you knew it, there was nothing left at all.

Ahh, but being entirely bald down there for the first time in years wasn't as bad as the razor burn that followed. I kid you not--I could not so much as slide across my bed without feeling as though my crotch was on fire. I might as well have had crabs or something. Sit up. Sit down. Left. Right. Back. Forth. I was blazin' in the saddle.

Note to self: Do not attempt to shave pubic hair ever again.

I watched the closing of the Democratic National Convention last night, and I have to say I was kind of disappointed with Kerry's speech. Not so much with the content, but with the actual delivery, which was debated over and over again by resident loudmouth Chris Matthews & company. When you listen to the tape, it's obvious that Kerry was rushing into things--no natural pauses for emphasis, no time for the crowd to respond. I mean, I felt as if the guy wasn't really giving a speech on anything; it was more like he was some schmoe who happened to be reading from a teleprompter. The whole thing worries me because you just know that when the RNC rolls around, Bush and his knucklehead writers will nail Kerry into the ground. Old W. is going to come off as more eloquent and empassioned about the presidency than Kerry, which is going to make the Dems' post-convention rankings come crashing down. Boo-hiss.

Today's Soundtrack: "Welcome Back," Mase

Best Part of the Day N/A

PS: I missed the now infmamous speech made by Barack Obama for this very reason. Isn't America beautiful?

posted at 8:12 a.m.

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