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June 04, 2003

I See London, I See France...

I have a big, fat, elephant-sized hole riding up my butt right now.

You see, my favorite moon and star flannel pajamas bottoms are finally coming apart at the seams. After over two and a half years of wearing them just about everywhere, and sitting around in them on Saturday afternoons, I guess they'd just about had it. I noticed a small little hole growing about the crotch a month or so ago, but it wasn't anything that you could see. Well, not unless someone managed to get me to spread my legs wide open, and we all know that that wasn't happening. So I just kept on wearing the pants all over the dorms like it was no big deal... Who was going to notice a teeny, tiny little hole?

Note to self: Small, teeny tiny crotch holes do not stay small for long.

With every single rinse cycle in the washer, my itsy bitsy hole would grow bigger. And bigger... And bigger... As of right now, the whole is about four inches wide, and the stitching is completely frayed... There's only a few week blue strings of thread holding the two legs together. Just by looking at it, you'd think someone had tried to rape me in my sleep. Half of the crotch is now eaten away (Is it me, or is the word "crotch" just way too amusing?), like some sort of big butt cookie.

The pants have served their purpose.

But I love the pajamas so much that I just can't bear to throw them away. You know how it is. It's like that ratty old blanket that you'd carry around for years after preschool, but never had the courage to sleep without. So now whenever I walk around the bedroom after hours, I have to make sure no one's looking up my butt to take a peek at my oh-so-sexy, Fruit of the Loom wedgies. Perverts. Why can't they find some more attractive wedgies somewhere else?

In other, less disturbing news, I spent the night in the University's very own planetarium with Dr. DePoy and the rest of the astronomy junkies. Don't get too excited yet. The whole of the planetarium was pretty shabby--it was built in 1968, and nothing seems to have changed since then. The room is kept at a nippy fifty degrees (at least that's what it felt like to me), and is circled with these plastic bucket seats that look like they were stolen from some bus station. No, really. If you happened to step inside the room, you'd see what I mean. It's obviously not one of the school's better features.

But as planetariums go, I guess I can't complain. I've never been in one before, so I don't have anything to compare it to. We "oohed" and "ahhed" as DePoy attempted to show us some constellations, but since A)He doesn't know jack about constellations in the first place, and B)I can't figure out how any of those dots in the sky are supposed to make freaking pictures, it ranked as a "so-so" on the entertainment scale.

Oh well. We got free pizza.

Today's Soundtrack: "The Sweetest Thing," Lauryn Hill

Best Part of the Day: OSU's Not-So State of the Art Planetarium

Weirdest Part of the Day: Dr. DePoy ordered saurkraut pizza. What the heck is that all about?

posted at 11:33 p.m.

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