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March 27, 2004

Nolo Contendere

I'm operating minute by minute, living from breath to breath, squinting my eyes shut in anticipation.

I'm waiting for one good kiss, pursing my lips together in the shape of a skintight "O."

I'm dreaming of Daisy Fuentes, chilled grape Flavor-Ice popsicles, and fresh cut grass sticking to my toes.

I'm holding on to what everyone else left behind, making sure that those memories aren't burnt up in sweet swirling smoke.

I'm giving up thought of running through sprinklers and getting lost in Saturday morning cartoons, trading them in for stiletto heels and the celebrity gossip of People magazine.

I'm chewing on the fat that made us wiser, wearing out the leather that padded us so well.

I'm walking side by side with no one in particular, giving sexy glances to the blank mannequins in the store display windows.

I'm hoping for a shot at the big time, looking down on what I've seen before, and staring up at what I've never known.

I'm sacrificing my body to lazy days and starry nights, running my fingers from the nape of my neck to the deep center of my navel.

I'm trying not to be anxious over nothing, aching over the frivolities of my daily routine.

I'm looking to urbanize the rural parts of me, to put a spin on what's already here.

I'm putting every day of my life into the present, making sure that I've compensated for what I have here and now.

Today's Soundtrack: "All That I Can Say," Mary J. Blige

Best Part of the Day: I'm wearing capri pants and leather sandals in the middle of March. Here in Ohio, that means something.

posted at 9:34 p.m.

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