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October 24, 2003

Orange Crush

I'm feeling kind of silly right now, because I've got that stupid middle school crush thing going on in my mind. Yes, yes... the type where you want to sit and doodle so-and-so's name all over your notebook, contemplating whether or not you'll take his surname, or opt for the oh-so-fashionable hyphen. It's ridiculous, really. I'm much too old to be sitting here, having idle fantasies about Brian; journalism TA extraordinaire. Brian; the tall, blonde writer with the neatly trimmed triangle goatee resting gently along his chin. I mean, really--what's so great about Brian, the twenty-seven year old teaching assistant with an affection for early 90s house music?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I went shopping at Easton this afternoon, and waltzed past the Build-A-Bear Store on my way to the Gap. I wasn't really expecting to see anyone I knew, but there he was; standing in line with his girlfriend, ready to stuff a flat lump of a teddy bear. He raised his arm and waved at me--it looked more like he was holding up his hand to direct traffic--and gave me a look that said he wasn't really enjoying being trapped in a store chock-full of stuffed animals.

I wanted to melt.

Of course, I didn't bother running up to the glass window and saying anything. I just waved back in a nonchalant way and kept walking, my New York & Company bag in tow.

Gaahh, this is the kind of stuff that gets me in trouble. There's almost always something wrong with the guys I end up liking. More often than not, they're gay (i.e. Andy and Mike), life-long bachelors (David), or saddled with a curly haired girlfriend (Brian). It's like some kind of weird cosmic joke--I'm always left with the rejected pieces of whatever any other women (or men) didn't want. And I'm not the type of girl to sit here and declare that I'm absolutely worthless as a human being without having someone by her side. I can handle things perfectly well by myself, thank you. It's just that I'm so tired of going around and seeing otherwise acceptable guys swooped up by dumb Barbies that talk as though they're enjoying one collassal orgasm. You know the type. The ones who are always walking through the stores and saying things like, "Ohhhh my Gahhhd!" whenever they whip out their Visa cards. They just kill me.

Anyways, this particular girl is just going to have to accept the fact that her otherwise-perfect TA is taken. It isn't fair, but I'll play by the rules... And one of these days, I'm going to end up winning first prize.

Today's Soundtrack: "Lost in You," Chris Gaines

Best Part of the Day: Watching Sophie chase squirrels throughout the neighborhood. I highly enjoyed that.

posted at 8:42 p.m.

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