Navigation
Miss Anything?
To Infinity and Beyond - September 01, 2006
Today's Post - August 26, 2006
Is This Thing On? - August 24, 2006
Finally, Forfeit! - November 06, 2005
So Here's How it Happened... - November 02, 2005
Contact
Highlights
Cream of the Crop
- A Perfect Self
- Anniewaits18
- Crazed Art Major
- David Zaza
- Eastern Villager
- Epiphany in Baltimore
- Gumphood
- Joe Burke
- Listen Here You
- Lobsterchick
- Lost In Thought
- Miss Pink Kate
- Fat Girl Blog
- Pink Pelvis
Credits
September 17, 2003
People Like You Eat People Like Me for Breakfast
I really needed to take a Diaryland hiatus for a few days... There was both too much and too little going on in the "Somebody" world at the same time, you know? Anyhow, I am back and well-rested. You ought to send me a bouquet of flowers and a sweet little Hallmark card in celebration.
I'm incredibly embarrassed and mad at myself, because last Friday night, I realized I had spent the entire summer flirting with a gay man.
How cheap is that?!
I suppose it's my fault... I had all the obvious signs in front of me. And I even confronted those signs with Laura, hoping to ignore them. The problem with gay men is that they don't know that they're leading innocent, infatuated straight people like me on. The average gay man uses flirting as a method of twenty-four hour self defense, it is never turned down or off. It doesn't matter whether they are speaking to Oprah Winfrey or Ru Paul--they are going to act as sweet and charming to just about everyone they meet.
And that's where I made my mistake.
There really wasn't any way for me to know for sure whether or not I was wasting my time with Mike (the name of said crush, by the way) until he dropped the bomb on me while working at the desk. I can't even remember what we were talking about... Catholic schools or something. And then he mentioned not seeing himself ever having to go to a school like that, "...Mostly because I'm gay, you know? And we're like illegal in places like that."
Well, boohiss to that. A huge, collossal, BOOHISS.
He said it as though I was supposed to have known. As though I'd been clued in from day one that he was the type of guy who liked his weiners hot, fresh, and without a bun.
Silly me.
I think I've finally stumbled upon my issue with gay men: I'm attracted to them. I just have to be, there's no other explanation for wanting something (someone?) you can't have for obvious reasons. And why not? Most of the gay men I know are ubelievably polite, understanding, courteous, well-dressed (or what they assume is "well-dressed"), and smart. Trying to find most or all of those qualities in any ordinary straight guy is as hard as totally cleaning out your own belly button lint. It just doesn't happen without any kind of real effort.
And that's what I want: A normal, fun-loving straight guy without the effort. Without the hangups. Without the ex-girlfriend obsessions. Without strings attached.
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
Today's Soundtrack: "Bruised," The Bens
Best Part of the Day: Baby Madison! Ooh, I love her so much!
posted at 1:57 p.m.
