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July 15, 2004

Pigeonholed

Lord.

I woke up just over two hours ago to the sound of a phone ringing in my ear, and my cousin's voice on the other end. I was supposed to pick her up and drive her to work this morning, which under normal circumstances, would be no big deal. But the thing is, my cousin lives all the way over on the East side, and the entire trip (Driving to pick her up, drop her off at work, and then driving myself home) takes about an hour and a half of my time and a quarter tank of gas. I never ask for gas money, just because she really isn't the position to give me any. But I get up at the crack of dawn, and waste all that gas because she's my cousin, and she's fallen on hard times, and because I want to help her.

But this morning was different. The number on the caller ID didn't match either her cell phone, or her home phone number, and I had no idea where the hell she was calling from. Turns out she ended up spending the night over some guy's house for what my mother guesses was a booty call, and she couldn't find anyone near enough (or even awake) to bring her to work. She'd called me last night to let me know that she needed me to pick her up, but she forgot to mention that she wouldn't be at home, or even at her sister's house. So here I am, at a quarter to seven, trying to make out directions on the phone to someplace I've never been, with some guy I've never heard of.

"So you get on I-70, and you get off on Alum Creek, and... Wait? Where does Alum Creek run into Livingston?"

"I dunno," I yawned.

"Well, it's over there. You take Livingston over to College, and then College over to Pfitzinger, and..."

"Pfitzinger?"

"Yeah. Pfitzinger. You got that?"

"Uhhhh... I guess so."

"Okay, so Pfitzinger runs into... Ummm... Hold on a second." There was a short pause before she murmured something to someone in the background. A gruff voice confirmed the question, and my cousin was back on the line. "Yeah, Pfitzinger runs into this place called 'The Grove.'"

"'The Grove?'"

"Yeah. It's a big circle. You'll find it. That turns into this apartment place called Waters-something and--"

Could this get any more confusing?

My mother ended up getting in the middle of the conversation, and called the guy's house back, and demanded to talk to my cousin. To make a long story short, I didn't end up going anywhere, since my mother made it clear that if my cousin was going to spend the night with some guy, he could at least have the decency to drop her off at work the next day. The whole thing ended with my mother calling up my uncle, and telling my cousin that as soon as she got home from work, the three of them were to have a long talk.

My problem is that I don't know how and when to say "no." There's something in me that makes me want to say and do everything for everyone. I'm a sick people pleaser, and there's certain people who know how to take advantage of my situation. Getting up after six in the monring to pick someone up who's over an hour away after she's been busy getting her freak on is one of those times. I need to find the sense to stand up for myself and say no. I mean, the whole situation is just getting ridiculous; I've picked my cousin up for work plenty of times this summer, and I don't know what she's planning on doing once I get back in school. Part of me is angry that my mother stepped in to stop the whole thing, but then again I'm glad she kept me from getting myself even farther into this perpetual favor.

Oh, by the way, everyone who hasn't got enough money to spend watching "Farenheit 9/11" needs to watch Chronic Future's music video "Time and Time Again." It's got pretty much the same message, but without quite as much harsh criticism as Michael Moore's work. Good stuff.

posted at 9:06 a.m.

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