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July 14, 2004
Pimento Loaf: It's Not Just for Sprinters
Today at work, I managed to spend an entire three hours with Bitchypoo without wanting to tear my hair out.
It was scary.
With the exception of one minor gift wrapping infraction ("Well, you know, the box would look SO MUCH BETTER if you would wrap the paper TIGHTER so that it's got a SNUG fit...") we actually got along like two civilized adults. Well, at least, one civilized adult (Me) and a Prozac-popping maniac.
Did I mention that Bitchypoo has this strange little tic in her right eye...? No? Well, whenever she starts yabbering on about product pricing and sales promotions, that eye gets to twitching like an atomic clock. It's kinda hard not to start staring directly at her eye when she's looking dead at you from the stock room. I was literally glued to that thing this afternoon, just caught up in the mystery and gore that makes up that spasm in her eye. How did she get it? What makes it act up? Maybe she was some sort of Nazi prison guard in a past life... Or maybe she happened to shove a tampon too far up her ass one afternoon? I'm sure that would explain it. Yes, definitely. I can see it now: Woman shoves Platex Slimfits Too Far Up Vaginal Cavity; Loses All Control of Eye Movement."
Classic.
Today's Soundtrack: "Sleep to Dream," Fiona Apple
Best Part of the Day: Getting paid tomorrow morning.
posted at 10:56 p.m.
