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December 23, 2003

I'm Sinking in the 'Someone Should Pay'

I hate fakers and liars.

But I hate it even more when I become one of them.

When Marc and I were out shopping, we ran into Danielle and Matt at Borders this afternoon... It was almost scary. I don't even remember half of the stuff I said, but I only ended up making a complete ass of myself in the end... Saying things in front of Matt to show my superiority, and hide my fear and disgust with my words.

He can really bring out the worst in me.

Why did I do any of that? What was the point? I could've just walked away, but no.... I had to stand there and put on a show, to make it look as though I was in total control of the situation. Of course, I wasn't... Which only ended up pissing Marc off completely. When we all walked out of the store, he locked me out of the car, and then drove off without me. I had to spend another thirty to forty-five minutes milling around the store in embarrassment, all because I had made my brother hate me by trying to act salty in front of old friends.

I hate being hypocritical. Everyone does it every now and again, but I've got these ridiculous altruistic scruples that don't allow room for mistakes. I guess it's my way of feeling better than everyone else...

Bahhh, sometimes I hate hearing myself think.

Today's Soundtrack: "Emaline," Ben Folds Five

posted at 9:49 p.m.

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