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July 18, 2003
We're Still Fighting It
I am not a team player.
I realized this Sunday night after I got home from work, collapsed on the couch, and grumbled about how much I hated just about the whole of my collective supervisors and bosses. Nothing about these people is real--they're just ridiculous forms of superiority that I have no pleasure in following.
Besides all that, they're fake as hell.
And that's the clincher, the fakeness. I really can't stand that in people, it bugs the crap out of me. I might not have great gaydar (As if Travis, Andy, and Brent were bad enough), but my phony sensors are always in full gear. I can sniff it out like bad K-Mart brand cologne. And all my bosses are just full of it, that's what they are. All this "Team Member," "Team Player," stuff is about ready to make me sprawl myself out along the highway.
I don't work well under such cruel conditions.
Just two more months... Two more months and I'm out of the stinkhole. Or am I?
Last night on MTV, Danielle and I watched this week's episode of True Life, entitled, "True Life: I'm In a Wheelchair." It was the most saddening/inspiring thing I've ever seen in my life. There was this one girl who became a quadrapeligic after falling down in a cheerleading competition... Since she can't even walk to the bathroom or sit on a toilet, she has to stick a catheter into her stomach and suck out all the pee from her bladder. Her bladder, for Christ's sake. I squirmed and gagged the whole time she did it, wondering how she could be strong enough to do that to herself every single day of the year.
It was awful.
I learned a lot from the show, but a lot of it was mostly shock factor. Like, "Whoa, I didn't know he could do that," or "Gee, how does he get around that way, "Or how'd he do that?"
You could say I was impressed.
It made me think about just how much these people value having their lives to live, and how proud they are to live them no matter what others may think of them. And then I started to wonder just how vain I might be... Always concerned about how what I do might affect someone else, worried about whether or not what I say or do will make an impact. Thinking so much about my looks and worrying if people will like me all the same.
It's a thin and plastic world we live in, my friends.
Today's Soundtrack: "Wo," Mya
Best Part of the Day: Losing another two pounds! Yessss! Oh, pardon me... My vanity's showing again.
posted at 8:58 a.m.
