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June 02, 2004

That Was Then, This is Dumb

As seen on the inside of my washing machine:

For Best STAIN REMOVAL results

Ketchup and other Tomato Products:
Sponge immediately or apply prewash soil and stain remover. Rinse. Wash. If stain remains, apply a liquid detergent to stain or soak in warm water with detergent. Rewash.

How is it that none of those instructions seem to be getting out the huge ketchup and mustard stains on my brand new, ALL-WHITE pants? Why is it that no matter how much liquid blue detergent I seem to pour, rub, and scrub, my pant legs only come out looking like some tie-dye experiment gone horribly wrong?

It's a conspiracy, I swear.

I can tell you right now, that I really don't enjoy washing clothes. It's not that I can't do it... It's just that I don't want to do it. Period. I'm the kind of girl that throws all the darks, lights, and delicates in the same cycle, praying that nothing valuable shrinks significantly. And I absolutely hate ironing. I would rather throw the whole load back into the dryer before I pull out an ironing board and a can of starch. The clothes could be wrinkled as hell for all I care. Just don't make me do laundry.

I gave up all notions of being pretty and girly this morning when I sat down for breakfast. That was when my lovely, crisp and white capri pants were covered in a thick tablespoon of both ketchup and mustard (I ate a hamburger for breakfast. Très Atkins, no?). So, being already late for class, I stripped down to my underwear, and dug through my pile of previously-worn-but-still-clean-enough-to-wear clothes, and pulled out a pair of jeans that have seen better days. Not only do they have a huge, widening hole on the inner thigh, but they sag in the back, and make me look bloated. Seriously. It looks as though I'm wearing an inflatable inner tube around my waist.

I feel like such a slob.

The thing is, I normally don't give much thought as to what I look like. I'm too much of a tomboy to care. But today... The day I actually make an effort to dress up (somewhat), I spill crap all over myself. It must be Murphy's Law at work.

Today's Soundtrack: "Fast As You Can," Fiona Apple

Best Part of the Day: One more day of spring quarter left! Woot!

posted at 9:50 p.m.

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