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September 04, 2003
Just the Two of Us
I hate Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.
And believe me, I know that's a terribly hard thing to do. I mean, they're just so... so... cute, I guess.
And that's exactly what bothers me.
It drives me nuts that a pair of bubbly blonde twins can make millions of dollars, milking the remnants of their cuteness to death. They aren't exactly the most talented actors, either. Honestly, did anyone ever really watch any of the TV shows they did after "Full House?" Blecch. It was too saccharin-sweet for my own good.
The whole cute thing is just a rotten gimmick, used to steal the cash away from innocent middle income families in American Wal-Mart stores. Do you think Mary Kate would be able to sell any Game Boy Advance video games if there wasn't an identical Ashley around? No. And could Ashley manage to hock her own line of dolls and fashion clothes if she didn't have Mary-Kate by her side? Of course not. The fact is, the two of them are totally dependent on each other for sales. You'll never see Mary Kate open up her own burger barn without the help of the angelic Ashley--Why? Because cheesburgers and curly fries don't sell like crazy when you haven't got a twin around.
Okay, okay, bad example. I've been a little hungry lately, and cheeseburgers are sounding pretty darn good right now...
Anyway, if I were lucky enough to have been born with an identical twin, I could only wish that my parents had the sense to put the two of us on television at three months of age. It doesn't take much talent to sit there and sleep on stage. And how hard can it be to mumble occasional words of cuteness throughout a thirty minute show? We're giving these Olsen girls too much credit.
If only they weren't so gosh-darned cute.
Today's Soundtrack: "Baby Boy," Beyoncé featuring Sean Paul
Best Part of the Day: I finally bought myself a computer desk. Whoot, whoot!
posted at 8:38 p.m.
