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June 08, 2003

Techno Virus

I'm going to apologize in advance for the lack of updates: Danielle opened up some virus on our computer Friday afternoon and screwed up the whole system. I mean it's totally trashed--we can't even get Windows to start up. The monitor just seems to stare at us like some kind of possessed machine. So since I won't be in the dorms with Chelsea's computer, there won't be too many updates until Dad takes our computer in to Krazy Kenny's Computer Workshop! (Don't ask about the name... The man literally iscrazy). Going to the library is pretty much going to be my only option.

Yesterday was Noga's graduation--and it really wasn't all that bad. The school decided to rent out the entire Schottenstein Center, which is ridiculous. I don't understand why the school district (which is loaded with money) can't afford to pay people to set up folding chairs and balloons in the grass in the middle of the football field, but they're willing to shell out God knows what to rent out an entire arena. I mean, Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera are having concerts there this August, for crying out loud. This isn't just some piddly auditorium.

Anyway, they had the whle place set up pretty nice, I guess. Marc and I ended up sitting above the concert band, and I got a few glimpses of Matt's forehead as he played the timpani and snare drums. I think we both pretended not to notice that the other wasn't anymore than ten feet away. So I sat and stared at all the little freshmen and sophomores that had taken the place of all the people I used to know in band, and listened as they went through "Pomp and Circumstance" about five times.

The ceremony was good... They sang way too many songs for my liking, and I was a little uneasy when some kid got up and sang "God Bless the USA." It's this hoopla about patriotism that just gets me. Nobody's even played that song since the last war with Iraq... It's just ironic, that's all. Anyway, the senior choir sang and did a little dance before the valedictorian and salutatorian speeches went underway. I thought they were better than last years (Grrr... Kate Dunkin), and they didn't seem to last as long. Maybe that's because I wasn't the one who was graduating this time around.

So I drove home from campus, and after leaving Marc home with Dad (He's sick... Mom thinks it might be bronchitis), I drove myself over to Noga's for her own graduation party. I guess I wasn't really listening when she left a message on my cell phone, because I showed up around 5:00 when the party really didn't start until 6:00. We had time to kill, so we ended up driving around to check in on other people's parties with Noga's boyfriend, Michael. Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate the kid, but he looks and acts so much more immature than what I'd pictured. He's a year younger than she is, so that doesn't really help him out, either. The whole time we were out, he sat in my car, messing with the blinkers, and dangling my car freshener and tennis balls outside the windows. Now if that isn't immature, I don't know what is. I wanted to slap him twelve times before we managed to pull into Noga's driveway. Honestly, she wants to marry this kid? How's she going to do that without having to babysit him?

By the time I'd hung around Noga's party for about an hour, I was ready to leave. Most of our mutual friends either hadn't shown up yet, or weren't coming at all--most of the party was made up of a bunch of freshmen that I didn't know at all. I was as as bored with them as I was with myself, and there wasn't any real reason to stick around any longer.But by the time I managed to walk to the front yard and head for my car, I saw Mr. Hayward walking up the driveway with present in hand.

God, I missed him.

We talked about the usual jazz. "How are you doing in school? What are you majoring in? When are you going to take some creative writing classes?" I answered them in the best way I knew how, but I still felt as though I wasn't telling him what he wanted. I didn't think I was living up to what he might have thought. He has a strange way of intimidating me.

Somehow, the conversation seemed to turn to Matt.

"You've definitely got the talent," he told me (I still don't believe him). "But I think you would've had a better experience if Matt wasn't--"

"We don't talk anymore," I interrupted him, hoping he wouldn't say anything else about it.

He acted surprised to hear that, but I can never tell with him. I told him that's the way things happen sometimes. There was too much going on in Matt's life for me to handle... So I left. I couldn't change him.

"I'm sorry to hear that. You guys were best friends..."

I wonder if anyone else knows that.

posted at 2:16 p.m.

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