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December 14, 2003
Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful...
Oh, God...
There's SNOW outside.
If you know me well enough, you'd understand that this is cause for utter panic and frustration. I just hate snow. I hate it, do you hear me?! I ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY HATE THE SNOW!
Curse you, frigid snow gods. Curse you.
I know there are plenty of you out there who are just divinely in love with the thought of snow; the type of people who get all giddy and silly at the thought of frollicking in huge drifts of frozen watery mess. You winter weather types scare me. I know that by living in the God-forsaken state of Ohio, I should be used to all of this Winter Wonderland stuff, but believe me, there's nothing more frightening than the sight of a snowflake drifting down to earth. Come on, now, you know it as well as I do. The truth is, the arrival of snow means it's time for minus ten degree temperatures (with windchill), slippery patches of ice along driveways, and bright yellow circles of dog piss. Where's the fun in that?
Yeah, I'll admit the stuff is pretty to look at (in postcards or screensavers), but I really don't like having to walk or drive in it. Wet shoes, wet boots, wet legs...? I must have fallen about a thousand times while traversing through the frozen tundra that lies between Lincoln and Larkins hall last winter quarter; and all that tripping and slipping got my butt quite wet, thank you. An let's not forget that frostbite is just around the corner. And then, you have to deal with the brown, ooshy, gushy mess that lines the streets about a week after the "pristine" and "pure" snow hits the earth.
...Oh, but listen to me be hypocritical. Out of all the places in the world to want to transfer schools, I'm seriously considering moving to Boston. Boston, one of the MAJOR capitals of snowdom. Of course, that thought will never materialize into anything, since all the schools I'm interested in cost about an arm and a leg a year. By the time I'd graduate, I wouldn't have any limbs left to accept my diploma... And then where would I be?
Anyway, probably the worst part about winter is the people who absolutely refuse to wear hats and jackets outside--namely the white frat boys and Barbie-like sorority girls. You know, the type of girl who's willing to sacrifice body heat for the sake of showing off her new Banana Republic sweater vest? Yeah, that's the one. It could be fifteen frickin' degrees outside, and these crazies are walking around campus in their Benetton polo shirts and their Adidas shower shoes, as if they were vacationing in La Jolla for the winter. When you ask them about the possibility of wearing a coat, they look at you like you're visiting from Mars or something. Seriously. That stuff cracks me up. I do not understand it. Is a white Delta Delta Delta chick more immune to the bitter January air than I am? Am I just hyper sensitive to the cold because I happen to be black...? Maybe it's just 'cause I'm insane...
Either way, I need to move myself to Florida.
Today's Soundtrack: "The Choice is Yours," Black Sheep
Best Part of the Day: Vh1's "I Love the 80s Strikes Back; Version 1985."
posted at 9:32 p.m.
