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August 01, 2003

I Wish Everyone Were Wrong

I WAS FEELING REALLY CRUMBY when I crawled out of bed this morning, all because I'd gone to sleep without eating dinner last night. I don't know how I coulda forgotten to feed myself--all I managed to eat yesterday was the chocolate malted I shared with Betsy, and even that was kinda awful. Hayslip's makes the worst shakes, to tell the truth. I dunno why I even invited Betsy over there anyway, it was a complete waste of money. She only took two sips of the goddamn chocolate malted before making up some excuse to leave and go study. Girls like are rotten that way. I guess I was just so depressed about the whole thing that I just didn't feel like eating for the rest of the goddamn day. I just sat there at the counter for what musta been hours, because my ass was starting to fall asleep on the stool. I mean it, it was terrible.

While I was there, I kept watching these three fat girls at another booth. One of them was kinda pretty, I guess. She looked like a pudgy sort of Ava Gardner if you looked real hard; and I spent enough time in the damn place to know for sure, believe me. Anyway, even if she was sorta pretty like Ava Gardner, she and her friends were just as annoying as hell. I was about ready to pull my ass off the stool and go over and tell her just how stupid she was, honest. They all had these squeaky, high pitched giggles, and they snorted whenever they gulped up any part of their crumby old strawberry shakes. It was like listening to a pack of pudgy hyenas yucking it up for an hour on end, I'm not kidding. You shoulda heard old Ava Gardner talk, too. You'dve thought she was the goddamn dean of American History, for Chrissakes. All syrupy and phony. I thought I was going to hack up one of my lungs listening to all of that crap. Of course, I didn't, though. I'm pretty much a gentleman when it comes to women, even the stupid fat ones. I'm too damn cultred for my own good.

Everything was fine until one of old Ava's friends got out of the booth and went over to the jukebox in the corner with a fist-full of dimes. I mean, it just about killed me--this poor chubby girl walking across the room, looking for the crappy old jukebox. I usually hate most of the music that they play in there anyway, but every now and again, you can see me dancing to some of the stuff they play. But that's not very often. Anyway, Ava's chum was hovering over the old Jukebox like it was some sort of treasure chest or something, staring at all the buttons before she managed to pick out her five songs. Then she squealed and ran back to the booth with old Ava and their other friend. Christ.

Today's Soundtrack: "That's How it Should Be (Sha Sha)," Ben Kweller

Best Part of the Day: Finally choosing which computer I'm going to be getting (in September)!

posted at 11:14 p.m.

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